Shopping -- A live blog

Sitting in the waiting room area of a non-descript store in a non-descript mall, while Hot Wife tries on pants and shirts and skirts and anything else that might fit together to form an appropriate few outfits to wear to work.

This husband has taken his Mrs. shopping for the day, almost irrelevant of whatever the final tally will be.

Almost.

Hot Wife has waited quite awhile for this, so I have promised to make it through the day minus the bitching and moaning that usually comes with most husbands when they are dragged to the mall.

Thought I would live blog my way through the day to keep myself entertained.

12.30 -- first stop, H&M. I hate this store. Men's side is barely a step above thrift shop. Not my style. Spot Hot Wife. Her hands are full.

12.38 -- standing outside change room door. MILF walks by in completely inappropriate low slung dress showing off not just cleavage, but most of the goods too. Winning.

12.45 -- Hot Wife emerges, says everything too small. Depressed.

12.52 -- next stop, Jacob. Use Sound Hound App to decipher good tune playing on store sound system. Springsteen. Recent iPhone purchase finally justified.

12.55 -- Jackson Five on now. Tempted to bust a move.

1.03 -- sharing change room with Hot Wife. Naughty thoughts. Nothing happens. No letter to Penthouse.

1.12 -- early leader for quote of the day from Hot Wife: "these pants are better. Not as tight. More professional than skanky." Sadly, far too many in the workplace see it the other way.

1.20 -- wondering why we are shopping at Banana Republic. Might be able to afford one sock here, but definitely not two, let alone pants at $185. I buy those, we have no gas money to get home.

1.32 -- damn my wife is hot. Definitely married up. She is NHL, I am beer league. Winning.

2.20 -- hot wife has me try on skinny jeans. Fat chance.

2.48 -- back to sharing a change room. Dear Penthouse? Nope, that still ain't happening.

3.01 -- chaching.

3.29 -- man in men's room standing at urinal holding small baby in one hand, shaking dingaling with the other. An obvious multitasker.

3.32 -- more gratuitous boobs. Shopping is not so bad afterall.

4.48 -- dragging ass. To hell with the P90X meal plan. Ice. Cream. Time.

5.00 -- spent. Physically and financially spent.

5.50 -- home, without even a hint of buyer's remorse. Yet.