Rumours have circulated around the doctor's office that perhaps it was mono that ailed her.
While those tests have not yet revealed themselves to be true or false, it was comforting to learn today that her inability to swallow even a single sip of water is attributable to a specific cause.
Mercifully, she now has medication to tame that stubborn sore throat.
Before popping her first pill, she did as she always does with prescription medication, and read the accompanying document that describes in great detail some of the possible side effects.
Most were typical, but one stood out like a black hairy tongue.
That's because that one possible side effect to the medication is a black hairy tongue.
That's right, A BLACK HAIRY TONGUE!
Our conversation after that revelation went a little something like this:
Me: You know you're not sleeping in my bed if you get a black hairy tongue, right?
Hot Wife, pouty-lipped and puppy dog-eyed: But you're supposed to love me in sickness and in health, remember?
Me: You didn't read the fine print in the marriage accord. It clearly states in small italics that a husband is to love his Hot Wife in sickness and in health, unless she develops a black hairy tongue, in which case she is to sleep on the couch until any and all symptoms, i.e. the black hair on the tongue, go away!
Hot Wife: You're a jerk.
Obviously, she was unimpressed by what I thought to be a clever retort, but it will teach her a good lesson.
It is as important to be aware of your contractual obligations as per your marriage license as it is to keep yourself informed of the side effects of medication that could potentially cover your tongue in black hair.
Fine print is fine print, no matter how and where it applies!
That's some cold truth, right there. Ice cold.
ReplyDeleteI'd probably make the same stipulation, though. Just sayin'....
OMG too funny. We laughed til the tears flowed.
ReplyDeleteI was really keeping an eye on her during lunch Time and I think I saw something in her mouth... Now I'm not sure if it was some BBQ chicken or the beginning of the hairy tongue...please double check before going to sleep!!
ReplyDeleteGinger - Traitor! :-)
ReplyDeleteCollègue - hardy har har har
Pouty-lipped puppy dog eyed accompanied by the "ahahhhh" or "heeyyyyyy". I'd get the same look eveytime a storm came through and she wanted to sleep in my bed...
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed you guys read the inserts. I hope the black hairy tongue stays away and I feel sorry for the person who discovered the unfortunate side effect in the first place.
Ginger -- Just another way in which we are both alike. As Paula Abdul once sang "... cold-hearted snakes..."
ReplyDeleteAnon -- Thanks for reading. Feel free to reveal yourself anytime.
Le collègue -- Welcome to CoaB. Keep reading; more follies to follow. And thank you for watching Hot Wife's tongue at work. For all the right reasons!
Hot Wife -- I'm detecting a lisp in your words. Have you checked your tongue lately?
HWS -- True dat. I pity the fool with the werewolf tongue. I do. I pity the fool.